Kid President's 20 Things We Should Say More Often (This is great!)

And here's the original, in case you missed it. ;)

Grateful for conversation!

HOW TO TURN SMALL TALK INTO SMART CONVERSATION

I'm grateful for TED!

10 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FAMILY AROUND THE TABLE

Gratitude Letter (10th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #10: Gratitude Letter

Background

Feeling gratitude can improve health and happiness; expressing gratitude also strengthens relationships. Yet sometimes expressions of thanks can be fleeting and superficial. This exercise encourages you to express gratitude in a thoughtful, deliberate way by writing—and, ideally, delivering—a letter of gratitude to a person you have never properly thanked. 

Time required

At least 15 minutes for writing the letter and at least 30 minutes for the visit

Instructions

Call to mind someone who did something for you for which you are extremely grateful but to whom you never expressed your deep gratitude. This could be a relative, friend, teacher, or colleague. Try to pick someone who is still alive and could meet you face-to-face in the next week. It may be most helpful to select a person or act that you haven’t thought about for a while—something that isn’t always on your mind.

Now, write a letter to one of these people, guided by the following steps.

1. Write as though you are addressing this person directly (“Dear ______”)
2. Don’t worry about perfect grammar or spelling.
3. Describe in specific terms what this person did, why you are grateful to this person, and how this person’s behavior affected your life. Try to be as concrete as possible.
4. Describe what you are doing in your life now and how you often remember his or her efforts.
5. Try to keep your letter to roughly one page (~300 words).

Next, you should try if at all possible to deliver your letter in person, following these steps:

1. Plan a visit with the recipient. Let that person know you’d like to see him or her and have something special to share, but don’t reveal the exact purpose of the meeting.
2. When you meet, let the person know that you are grateful to them and would like to read a letter expressing your gratitude; ask that he or she refrain from interrupting until you’re done.
3. Take your time reading the letter. While you read, pay attention to his or her reaction as well as your own.
4. After you have read the letter, be receptive to his or her reaction and discuss your feelings together.
5. Remember to give the letter to the person when you leave.

If physical distance keeps you from making a visit, you may choose to arrange a phone or video chat. 

Evidence that it works

Seligman, M. E., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410.

When researchers tested five different exercises, the gratitude visit showed the greatest positive effect on participants’ happiness one month later; however, six months after the visit, their happiness had dropped back down to where it was before. This is why some researchers suggest doing this exercise once every six weeks or so.

Also, 2009 research led by Jeffrey Froh found that adolescents who don’t generally experience positive emotions showed a significant boost in positive emotions two months after doing a gratitude visit.

Research suggests that while there are benefits simply to writing the letter, you reap significantly greater benefits from delivering and reading it in person.

Why it works

The letter affirms positive things in your life and reminds you how others have cared for you—life seems less bleak and lonely if someone has taken such a supportive interest in us. Visiting the giver allows you to strengthen your connection with her and remember how others value you as an individual.

Source

Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., and Kristin Layous, University of California, Riverside
Martin Seligman, Ph.D., University of Pennsylvania

Gratitude Journal (9th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking) HAH! Kinda already been doing this, ;)

Happiness Practice #9: Gratitude Journal

Background

This exercise asks you to write down things for which you are grateful. Research suggests that people who feel gratitude for the good things in their life—large and small—enjoy better health and greater happiness. Most of us routinely take these positive things for granted, but studies show that consciously focusing on them can foster an attitude of gratitude in just a few weeks. 

Time required

10 to 15 minutes per day for at least one week. Studies suggest that writing in a gratitude journal one to three times per week might actually have a greater impact on our happiness than journaling every day.

InstructionsTo facilitate keeping your gratitude journal, we suggest that you perform this practice on Thnx4.org, the online, shareable gratitude journal platform created by the Greater Good Science Center. While Thnx4 can be used in research studies, your entries will not be part of any study, of course, so you can disregard all prompts on the platform concerning research.

Regardless of whether you choose to use Thnx4, here are some general instructions for keeping a gratitude journal.

Write down up to five things for which you feel grateful. The physical record is important—don’t just do this exercise in your head. The things you list can be relatively small in importance (“The tasty sandwich I had for lunch today.”) or relatively large (“My sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy.”). The goal of the exercise is to remember a good event, experience, person, or thing in your life—then enjoy the good emotions that come with it.

As you write, here are nine important tips: 

1. Be as specific as possible—specificity is key to fostering gratitude. “I’m grateful that my co-workers brought me soup when I was sick on Tuesday” will be more effective than “I’m grateful for my co-workers.”
2. Go for depth over breadth. Elaborating in detail about a particular person or thing for which you’re grateful carries more benefits than a superficial list of many things.
3. Get personal. Focusing on people to whom you are grateful has more of an impact than focusing on things for which you are grateful.
4. Try subtraction, not just addition. Consider what your life would be like without certain people or things, rather than just tallying up all the good stuff. Be grateful for the negative outcomes you avoided, escaped, prevented, or turned into something positive—try not to take that good fortune for granted.
5. See good things as “gifts.” Thinking of the good things in your life as gifts guards against taking them for granted. Try to relish and savor the gifts you’ve received.
6. Savor surprises. Try to record events that were unexpected or surprising, as these tend to elicit stronger levels of gratitude.
7. Revise if you repeat. Writing about some of the same people and things is OK, but zero in on a different aspect in detail.
8. Write regularly. Whether you write every other day or once a week, commit to a regular time to journal, then honor that commitment. But…
9. Don’t overdo it. Evidence suggests writing occasionally (once or twice per week) is more beneficial than daily journaling. That might be because we adapt to positive events and can soon become numb to them—that’s why it helps to savor surprises. 

Evidence that it works

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: an experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

Participants who kept a gratitude journal weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks experienced more gratitude, positive moods, optimism about the future, and better sleep. 

Why it works

While it’s important to analyze and learn from bad events, sometimes we can think too much about what goes wrong and not enough about what goes right in our lives. A gratitude journal forces ourselves to pay attention to the good things in life we might otherwise take for granted. In that way, we start to become more attuned to the everyday sources of pleasure around us—and the emotional tone of our life can shift in profound ways. What’s more, actually writing about these events is key: Research suggests translating thoughts into concrete language makes us more aware of them, deepening their emotional impact.

For More

• Get started with the GGSC’s online shareable gratitude journal, Thnx4.org
• Gratitude Works: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity, by Robert A. Emmons, the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude
• The gratitude curriculum for kids developed by researcher Jeffrey Froh

Source

Robert Emmons, Ph.D., University of California, Davis
Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., University of California, Riverside

Best Possible Self (8th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #8: Best Possible Self

Background

This exercise asks you to imagine your life going as well as it possibly could in the future, then write about this best possible future. Research has shown that optimism about the future can increase happiness and motivate people to work toward achieving their desired future.

Time Required

15 minutes per day for two weeks

Instructions

Take a moment to imagine your life in the future. What is the best possible life you can imagine? Consider all of the relevant areas of your life, such as your career, academic work, relationships, hobbies, and/or health. What would happen in these areas of your life in your best possible future?

For the next 15 minutes, write continuously about what you imagine this best possible future to be. Use the instructions below to help guide you through this process.

1. It may be easy for this exercise to lead you to examine how your current life may not match this best possible future. You may be tempted to think about ways in which accomplishing goals has been difficult for you in the past, or about financial/time/social barriers to being able to make these accomplishments happen. For the purpose of this exercise, however, we encourage you to focus on the future—imagine a brighter future in which you are your best self and your circumstances change just enough to make this best possible life happen.  
2. This exercise is most useful when it is very specific—if you think about having a partner or new friend, describe how they interact with you, what you might do together, and so on. If you imagine a better relationship with a person currently in your life, imagine exactly what would be different. The more specific you are, the more engaged you will be in the exercise and the more you’ll get out of it.  
3. Be as creative and imaginative as you want, and don’t worry about grammar and spelling.  

Evidence That It Works

Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualizing best possible selves. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 1(2), 73-82.

People who completed the Best Possible Self exercise daily for two weeks showed increases in positive emotions right after the two-week study ended. Participants who kept up with the exercise even after the study was over continued to show increases in positive mood one month later. 

Why It Works

By thinking about their best possible future selves, people can learn about themselves and what they want in life. This way of thinking can help people restructure their priorities in life in order to reach these goals. Additionally, it can help people increase their sense of control over their lives by highlighting what they need to do to achieve their dreams.

Source

Laura A. King, Ph.D., University of Missouri
Jeffrey Huffman, M.D., Harvard Medical School

Self-Compassionate Letter (7th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #7: 
Self-Compassionate Letter

Background

This exercise asks you to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion for an aspect of yourself that you don’t like. Research suggests that people who respond with compassion to their own flaws and setbacks—rather than beating themselves up over them—experience greater physical and mental health. 

Time required

15 minutes

Instructions

First, identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, insecure, or not good enough. It could be something related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or any other part of your life. 

Once you identify something, write it down and describe how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry? Try to be as honest as possible, keeping in mind that no one but you will see what you write. 

The next step is to write a letter to yourself expressing compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you dislike. 

As you write, follow these guidelines:

1. Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?

2. Remind yourself that everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like, and that no one is without flaws. Think about how many other people in the world are struggling with the same thing that you’re struggling with.

3. Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genes may have contributed to this negative aspect of yourself. 

4. In a compassionate way, ask yourself whether there are things that you could do to improve or better cope with this negative aspect. Focus on how constructive changes could make you feel happier, healthier, or more fulfilled, and avoid judging yourself.

5. After writing the letter, put it down for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this aspect of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.

Evidence that it works

Breines, J. G. & Chen, S. (2012). Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18(9), 1133-1143.

Participants in an online study who wrote a compassionate paragraph to themselves regarding a personal weakness subsequently reported greater feelings of self-compassion. They also experienced other psychological benefits, such as greater motivation for self-improvement.

Other supporting evidence

Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887-904.

Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.

Shapira, L. B., & Mongrain, M. (2010). The benefits of self-compassion and optimism exercises for individuals vulnerable to depression. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 5, 377-389.

Why it works

Self-compassion reduces painful feelings of shame and self-criticism that can compromise mental health and well-being and stand in the way of personal growth. Writing is a powerful way to cope with negative feelings and change the way you think about a difficult situation.

Writing in a self-compassionate way can help you replace your self-critical voice with a more compassionate one--one that comforts and reassures you rather than berating yourself for your shortcomings. It takes time and practice, but the more your write in this way, the more familiar and natural the compassionate voice will feel, and the easier it will be to remember to treat yourself kindly when you’re feeling down on yourself. 

Source

Juliana Breines, Ph.D., Brandeis University
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., University of Texas, Austin

Body Scan Meditation (6th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #6: Body Scan Meditation

Background

This exercise asks you to systematically focus your attention on different parts of your body, from your feet to the muscles in your face. It is designed to help you develop a mindful awareness of your bodily sensations, and to relieve tension wherever it is found. Research suggests that this mindfulness practice can help reduce stress, improve well-being, and decrease aches and pains. 

Time Required

20-45 minutes, three to six days per week for four weeks. Research suggests that people who practice the body scan for longer reap more benefits from this practice.

Instructions

The steps below are a guided meditation. You can listen to audio of this guided meditation, produced by UCLA’sMindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), in the player below; if it doesn't play, you can find it here or download it from MARC's website.*

Especially for those new to the Body Scan, we recommend performing this practice with the audio as a guided meditation. However, you can also use the script below for guidance for yourself or for leading this practice for others.

The body scan can be performed while lying down, sitting, or in other postures. The version described below is designed to be done while sitting.

Begin by bringing your attention into your body. 

You can close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you.

You can notice your body seated wherever you’re seated, feeling the weight of your body on the chair, on the floor.

Take a few deep breaths. 

And as you take a deep breath, bring in more oxygen enlivening the body. And as you exhale, have a sense of relaxing more deeply.

You can notice your feet on the floor, notice the sensations of your feet touching the floor. The weight and pressure, vibration, heat. 

You can notice your legs against the chair, pressure, pulsing, heaviness, lightness. 

Notice your back against the chair. 

Bring your attention into your stomach area. If your stomach is tense or tight, let it soften. Take a breath.

Notice your hands. Are your hands tense or tight. See if you can allow them to soften.

Notice your arms. Feel any sensation in your arms. Let your shoulders be soft.

Notice your neck and throat. Let them be soft. Relax.

Soften your jaw. Let your face and facial muscles be soft.

Then notice your whole body present. Take one more breath.

Be aware of your whole body as best you can. Take a breath. And then when you’re ready, you can open your eyes.

* You can also listen to the full 45-minute version of the Body Scan that the UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness uses in its trainings in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.

Evidence That It Works

Carmody, J. & Baer, R. A. (2008). Relationships between mindfulness practice and levels of mindfulness, medical and psychological symptoms, and well-being in a mindfulness-based stress reduction program. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 31, 23-33.

Participants who attended eight weekly sessions of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MSBR) program showed increases in mindfulness and well-being at the end of the eight weeks, and decreases in stress and mental illness symptoms. Time spent engaging in home practice of the body scan in particular was associated with greater levels of two components of mindfulness (observing and non-reacting) and with increased psychological well-being.

Why It Works

The body scan provides a rare opportunity for us to experience our body as it is, without judging or trying to change it. It may allow us to notice and release a source of tension we weren’t aware of before, such as a hunched back or clenched jaw muscles. Or it may draw our attention to a source of pain and discomfort; by simply noticing the pain we’re experiencing, without trying to change it, we may actually feel some relief, research suggests.

Our feelings of resistance and anger toward pain often only serve to increase that pain, and to increase the distress associated with it. The body scan is designed to counteract these negative feelings toward our bodies. This practice may also increase our general attunement to our physical needs and sensations, which can in turn help us take better care of our bodies and make healthier decisions about eating, sleep, and exercise.

Sources

Diana Winston, Ph.D., UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC)

Steven D. Hickman, Psy.D., UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness

Mindful Breathing (5th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #5: Mindful Breathing

Background

“Mindfulness” refers to the ability to observe one’s thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judging them as good or bad; it’s the skill of paying careful attention to the present moment. Research links mindfulness to lower stress and higher well-being. But how do you cultivate mindfulness? A basic method is to focus your attention on your own breathing. After setting aside time to practice mindful breathing, you should find it easier to focus attention on your breath in your daily life—an important skill to help you deal with stress, negative emotions, and sharpen your skills of concentration. 

Time Required

15 minutes daily for at least a week (though evidence suggests that mindfulness increases the more you practice it).

Instructions

The steps below are a short guided meditation. You can listen to audio of this guided meditation, produced by UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC), in the player below; if it doesn't play, you can find it here or download it from MARC's website.

1. Find a relaxed, comfortable position. You could be seated on a chair or on the floor on a cushion. Keep your back upright, but not too tight. Hands resting  wherever they’re comfortable. Tongue on the roof of your mouth or wherever it’s comfortable.  
2. Notice and relax your body. Try to notice the shape of your body, its weight. Let yourself relax and become curious about your body seated here—the sensations it experiences, the touch, the connection with the floor or the chair. Relax any areas of tightness or tension. Just breathe, soften. 
3. Tune into your breath. Feel the natural flow of breath—in, out. You don’t need to do anything to your breath. Not long, not short, just natural. Notice where you feel your breath in your body. It might be in your abdomen. It may be in your chest or throat or in your nostrils. See if you can feel the  sensations of breath, one breath at a time. When one breath ends the next breath begins.  
4. Now as you do this you might notice that your mind may start to wander. You may start thinking about other things. If this happens, this is not a problem. It's very natural. Just notice that your mind has wandered. You can say  “thinking” or “wandering” in your head softly. And then gently redirect your attention right back to the breathing.
5. Stay here for five to seven minutes. Notice your breath, in silence. From time to time, you’ll get lost in thought, then return to your breath.  
6. After a few minutes, once again notice your body, your whole body, seated here. Let yourself relax even more deeply and then offer yourself some appreciation for doing this practice today. 

Evidence That It Works

Arch, J. J., & Craske, M. G. (2006). Mechanisms of mindfulness: Emotion regulation following a focused breathing induction. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(12), 1849-1858.

Participants who completed a 15-minute focused breathing exercise (similar to the mindful breathing exercise described above) reported less negative emotion in response to a series of slides that displayed negative images, compared with people who didn’t complete the exercise. These results suggest that the focused breathing exercise helps to improve participants’ ability to regulate their emotions. 

Why It Works

Mindfulness gives people distance from their thoughts and feelings, which can help them tolerate and work through unpleasant feelings rather than becoming overwhelmed by them. Mindful breathing in particular is helpful because it gives people an anchor for their awareness that they can return to when they find themselves carried away by a stressful thought. Mindful breathing also helps people stay “present” in the moment, rather than being distracted by regrets in the past or worries about the future.

Source

Diana Winston, Ph.D., UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC)

Eight Essentials When Forgiving (4th cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #4: Eight Essentials When Forgiving 

Background

We have all suffered incidents that felt hurtful and unjust. Choosing to forgive is a way to release the distress that arises again and again from the memory of these incidents—but forgiveness is often a long and difficult process. This exercise outlines several steps that are essential to the process of forgiveness, breaking this difficult experience down into more manageable components. These steps were created by Robert Enright, Ph.D., one of the world’s leading forgiveness researchers. Although the specific methods for forgiveness may look different for different people, they can still draw upon Dr. Enright’s basic principles. In certain cases, it may help to consult a trained clinician, especially if you are working through a traumatic event.

Time Required

Each person will forgive at his or her own pace. We suggest that you move through the steps below based on what works for you. 

Instructions

1. Make a list of people who have hurt you deeply enough to warrant the effort to forgive. You can do this by asking yourself on a 1-to-10 scale, How much pain do I have regarding the way this person treated me?with 1 involving the least pain (but still significant enough to justify the time to forgive) and 10 involving the most pain. Then, order the people on this list from least painful to most painful. Start with the person lowest on this hierarchy (least painful).

2. Consider one offense by the first person on your list. Ask yourself: How has this person’s offense negatively impacted by life? Reflect on the psychological and physical harm it may have caused. Consider how your views of humanity and trust of others may have changed as a result of this offense. Recognize that what happened was not okay, and allow yourself to feel any negative emotions that come up.

3. When you’re ready, make a decision to forgive. Deciding to forgive involves coming to terms with what you will be doing as you forgive—extending an act of mercy toward the person who has hurt you. When we offer this mercy, we deliberately try to reduce resentment (persistent ill will) toward this person and, instead, offer him or her kindness, respect, generosity, or even love.  

It is important to emphasize that forgiveness does not involve excusing the person’s actions, forgetting what happened, or tossing justice aside. Justice and forgiveness can be practiced together. 

Another important caveat: To forgive is not the same as to reconcile. Reconciliation is a negotiation strategy in which two or more people come together again in mutual trust. You may not choose to reconcile with the person you are forgiving.

4. Start with cognitive exercises. Ask yourself these questions about the person who has hurt you: What was life like for this person while growing up? What wounds did he or she suffer from others that could have made him or her more likely to hurt you? What kinds of extra pressures or stresses were in this person’s life at the time he or she offended you? These questions are not meant to excuse or condone, but rather to better understand the other person’s areas of pain, those areas that make him or her vulnerable and human. Understanding why people commit destructive acts can also help us find more effective ways of preventing further destructive acts from occurring in the future. 

5. Be aware of any little movement of your heart through which you begin to feel even slight compassion for the person who offended you. This person may have been confused, mistaken, and misguided. He or she may deeply regret his or her actions. As you think about this person, notice if you start to feel softer emotions toward him or her.

6. Think of a gift of some kind that you can offer to the person you are trying to forgive. Forgiveness is an act of mercy—you are extending mercy toward someone who may not have been merciful toward you.This could be through a smile, a returned phone call, or a good word about him or her to others.  Always consider your own safety first when extending kindness and goodwill towards this person. If interacting with this person could put you in danger, find another way to express your feelings, such as by writing in a journal or engaging in a practice such as compassion meditation. 

7. Finally, try to find meaning and purpose in what you have experienced. For example, as people suffer from the injustices of others, they often realize that they themselves become more sensitive to others’ pain. This, in turn, can give them a sense of purpose toward helping those who are hurting. It may also motivate them to work toward preventing future injustices of a similar kind.

Once you complete the forgiveness process with one person on your list, select the next person in line and move up that list until you are forgiving the person who hurt you the most.  

Evidence that it works

Baskin, T.W., & Enright, R. D. (2004). Intervention studies on forgiveness: A meta-analysis. Journal of Counseling and Development, 82, 79-90.

Researchers compared several studies that used Dr. Enright’s “process model of forgiveness,” similar to the steps outlined above. All the studies were done in a clinical setting including individual and group therapy. Therapies that used these methods were shown to be effective in increasing forgiveness, and in decreasing negative psychological states such as anxiety and anger. These were often long-term therapies, ranging from 6 to 60 weekly sessions, aimed at helping individuals cope with serious offenses.

Why it works

Forgiveness is a long and often challenging process. These steps may help along the way by providing concrete guidelines. Specifically, they may help you narrow and understand whom to forgive—to name and describe your pain; to understand the difference between forgiving and excusing or reconciling; and by thinking about the person who has caused you pain in a novel way, you may begin to feel some compassion for him or her, facilitating forgiveness and reducing the ill will you hold toward this person. These steps also attune you to residual pain from your experience, and encourage you to find meaning and some positivity in it. 

See also

Coyle, C. T., & Enright, R. D. (1997). Forgiveness intervention with post-abortion men. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 65(6), 1042-1046.

Freedman, S. R., & Enright, R. D. (1996). Forgiveness as an intervention goal with incest survivors. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(5), 983-992.

Source  

Robert Enright, Ph.D., University of Wisconsin, Madison

Random Acts of Kindness Day (3rd cool activity from a MOOC I'm taking)

Happiness Practice #3: Random Acts of Kindness

Background

We all perform acts of kindness at one time or another. These acts may be large or small, and their beneficiaries may not even be aware of them. Yet their effects can be profound—not only on the recipient but on the giver as well. This exercise asks you to perform five acts of kindness in one day as a way of both promoting kindness in the world and cultivating happiness in yourself and others.

Time required

Varies depending on your acts of kindness. Could be anywhere from several minutes to several hours.

Instructions

One day this week, perform five acts of kindness—all five in one day. It doesn’t matter if the acts are big or small, but it is more effective if you perform a variety of acts.

The acts do not need to be for the same person—the person doesn’t even have to be aware of them. Examples include feeding a stranger's parking meter, donating blood, helping a friend with a chore, or providing a meal to a person in need.

After each act, write down what you did in at least one or two sentences; for more of a happiness boost, also write down how it made you feel.

Evidence that it works

Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K., & Schkade, D. (2005) Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change.Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131.

Study participants who performed five acts of kindness every week for six weeks saw a significant boost in happiness, but only if they performed their five acts in a single day rather than spread out over each week. This may be because many acts of kindness are small, so spreading them out might make them harder to remember and savor.

Why it works

Researchers believe this practice makes you feel happier because it makes you think more highly of yourself and become more aware of positive social interactions. It may also increase your kind, helpful—or “pro-social”—attitudes and tendencies toward others. Evidence suggests that variety is key: People who perform the same acts over and over show a downward trajectory in happiness, perhaps because any act starts to feel less special the more it becomes routine.

Source

Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., University of California, Riverside